There’s a moment that shows up in nearly every coaching engagement I facilitate. Usually somewhere between the second and fourth session.

The leader has already named what they want to work on. We’ve clarified the goal. The plan is taking shape. And then, almost without exception, they pause mid-sentence and say something like:

“Actually… I think there’s something else going on here.”

That pause? That’s not hesitation. It’s insight arriving.

And it almost never happens in the first conversation.

The Problem with Moving Too Fast

Leaders are trained to be solution-oriented. When something feels misaligned, a team dynamic that’s off, a role that’s no longer fulfilling, a decision that keeps getting delayed, the instinct is to diagnose it quickly and move to action.

But here’s what I’ve observed over years of working with high-performing leaders: the first explanation is rarely the whole story.

The team conflict isn’t just about communication styles. The role dissatisfaction isn’t only about scope or compensation. The stalled decision isn’t simply a matter of needing more data.

There’s often something underneath, a pattern, a belief, an unspoken tension, that hasn’t been named yet. And until it’s seen clearly, any action taken will be addressing symptoms, not the actual source.

What Awareness Actually Looks Like

Awareness isn’t navel-gazing. It’s not endless reflection or analysis paralysis.

It’s the practice of slowing down long enough to notice:

• What you’re reacting to versus what’s actually happening
• The pattern that keeps repeating across different situations
• The gap between what you say matters and where your time actually goes
• What you’ve been sensing but haven’t given yourself permission to name

In leadership development work, this phase often feels uncomfortable because it requires sitting with uncertainty before rushing to resolve it. But this discomfort is productive. It’s the signal that you’re moving past surface-level fixes into the territory where real transformation happens.

Why This Matters Now

January brings a particular kind of pressure. There’s an ambient expectation to set goals, commit to change, declare intentions. And while clarity of direction is valuable, starting with action before you have awareness is like trying to navigate with an outdated map.

You’ll be moving, maybe even moving fast, but you might not be going where you actually need to go.

The leaders I work with who create the most meaningful, sustainable change don’t skip this step. They give themselves permission to pause. To notice. To ask better questions before they commit to answers.

They understand that seeing clearly isn’t passive, it’s foundational.

The Question That Changes Everything

If you’re sensing that something isn’t quite aligned in your leadership, your role, or your organization, here’s the question worth sitting with:

What am I noticing, really noticing, that I haven’t fully named yet?

Not what you should be noticing. Not what the problem “obviously” is. But what’s actually present when you stop long enough to pay attention.

That question doesn’t require an immediate answer. In fact, it works best when you let it sit for a while. Write about it. Talk it through with someone you trust. Notice what comes up over days, not minutes.

Because the quality of your awareness will shape the quality of everything that comes after.

What Comes Next

Awareness isn’t the end of the process; it’s the beginning. But it’s the kind of beginning that sets you up for change that actually sticks.

In next month’s piece, I’ll explore what happens after you’ve seen something clearly: how to move from insight to aligned action without losing the thread. But for now, if you’re feeling the pull to change something, start here.

See it first. Name it honestly. Let that clarity guide what comes next.

That’s the work beneath the work. And it’s where meaningful leadership change always begins.

Deseri Garcia

Most leaders struggle with disengagement, dysfunction, and non-productive behaviors with their teams. We deliver training that develops leaders and engages teams to increase your company results.